About Me

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I am first and foremost, a story teller. My passions are M/M fiction and fantasy, and I combine these two things in my work. Among other things, in my books you will find men in love (with each other), vampires, demons, angels and shapeshifters.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Technology woes

As some of my FB friends already know, I am in deep technological distress. My laptop had a very unfortunate meeting with the hardwood floor, due to my mother's absentmindedness. In one moment, I was catapulted from 


Now don't get me wrong. It's not about the brand. I love my Old Faithful a lot. But unfortunately, the screen as shown above isn't the problem. The actual unit is so slow it boggles the mind. And my laptop was four months old, so you can imagine my distress.

At any rate, I'm satisfied I even have it and I can at least continue writing. Hopefully, I'll get my laptop back soon, although I doubt clumsy parentals are included in the warantee.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A few words on male beauty in fiction and fashion

Many M/M authors, such as myself for example, like to use androgynous male figures in their fiction. It is somewhat of a trend, and very typical to Japanese yaoi anime and manga.  Why? I'm not sure. Are we simply fascinated with the idea of male beauty? Do we prefer it over classical "handsomeness"? And then, there's the classical pairing of a strong top and a beautiful bottom. Do we want to recreate the same balance there is a heterosexual couple? I don't have a clue. Quite honestly, I don't know where this tendency stems from? Lately, I don't give a damn.

I admire beauty wherever I see it, be in in a flower or a man. Why am I writing about this? Because a friend of mine just showed me a couple of photos that have me in awe. 

I've seen this model before, and his beauty struck me back then, just like it does now. His name is Andrej Pejic and he originates from Bosnia Herzegovina. When I first found a picture of him, I read the comments and was appalled at the amount of vitriol I read there, just because he is "beautiful" not "handsome". 

Now don't misunderstand me. He is famous, rich and very appreciated by many, including famous fashion designers. What I mean to say is that beauty in all its forms is the same, and we can only admire it, like we would a beautiful rose. That's what I do when I look at these beautiful pictures - whether he is dressed as a woman or as a man. It inspires me to write, and whether I write handsome men or beautiful men, in the end, it doesn't matter. Love is love, no matter what.

Please note - I don't own these photos, so don't sue me :).

For more: http://models.com/models/andrej-pejic

Kaldor Saga 4: Mending Shattered Souls available for pre-order

Woot! Kaldor Saga 4: Mending Shattered Souls is now available for purchase at the Siren Bookstrand website. This is a book I dedicate to all the loyal Kaldor readers who urged me on when I was in a slump. Thank you, everyone. I hope you enjoy the story.

After his betrayal, Pierre D’Argent is tortured and broken by his own people. His only desire is to somehow find salvation in death. But a mysterious man going by the name of X rescues him, bringing a spark of hope in his life.
Love blossoms between them, despite Pierre’s incurable affliction and X’s amnesia. But shattered souls cannot be mended so easily. On the run from the Sidhe and vampire nations, at odds with their only allies, Pierre and X find themselves in a situation with no escape.
When X’s past reemerges, it brings even more complications and problems. But the worst is yet to come. The Kaldorian land of Xeetha is crumbling under the attack of hostile forces. The two lovers will have to fight for the freedom of the demon lands. Will love be enough to help them find a way?
The book will be available on March 1st. Until then, I am gifting you with an extra excerpt. For more, just click on the link above :D.

He was lost, lost and damned to the darkness and to the pain. The shadows around him threatened to swallow him whole. But he wouldn’t go down without a fight. They’d regret their birth by the time he finished them off.
With vengeance burning in his veins, he tried to jump one of the blurry silhouettes that circled him. It was useless. Strong bindings kept his arms immobilized, and his wings weren’t much better. At first they seemed numb, but as the seconds passed, they started to hurt terribly. The prisoner gritted his teeth at the pain, knowing that it was a natural part of the healing process. After his wings were better, he had a chance at freeing himself.
For now, escaping would most likely be impossible. He was still trapped in some sort of earthling contraption, which effectively immobilized his arms, legs, and wings. He could feel tubes piercing his entire body, and his skin and bones burned as if having gone through a great fire. He was weak now, so he needed a good plan to escape.
A low chuckle sounded somewhere in front of him. As his vision became clearer, the prisoner located the source of the laughter in a middle-aged human dressed in a white robe, sitting on a simple stool. “You’re thinking about freeing yourself, you little freak? Forget about it!” The man got off the stool and walked up to his prisoner, laughing when the platinum blond tried to lunge at him. “Tsk, tsk. Be a good boy! After all, this will be your permanent home from now on, and you should consider making some friends.”
“Fuck you!” the warrior growled. “You can’t keep me here forever! I’ll get out eventually, and I’ll rip your heart out and make you eat it!”
A flash of fear passed through the human’s eyes, but then his gaze became sly and almost predatory. “I don’t think so. But maybe if you would cooperate with us…we could work together for the good of mankind. What do you say?” He smiled, passing a lascivious gaze over the warrior’s body. “I’m sure we could be great together.”
The warrior didn’t even try to suppress his surge of disgust. He just spat at his captor, giving a disdainful look. The man wiped the spit off his face, glaring at his prisoner and signaling other people dressed like him to come closer. “Idiot demon. You’ll regret that. I’ll give you a lesson you’ll never forget.”
The other men disappeared in the shadows behind the prisoner. Still bound, he could not turn his head to see what they were doing, but he could hear loud metallic sounds coming from somewhere in the back.
The man in white grinned. “Feeling a little frightened, are we?”
The prisoner scoffed. “There’s nothing you can do to me that I would ever fear.”
“We’ll see about that,” the man answered as he pulled a syringe from his pocket and injected one of the tubes.
The warrior hissed as the solution started affecting his body, his mobility restricted once more. The human grinned as he approached the prisoner and raised his head, whispering in his ear, “Last chance. Will you join our forces or not? Think about it. By my side, you’ll be free and powerful, feared and respected by all.”
The human’s tongue slipped into his prisoner’s ear, and his hands started roaming the bound man’s body. It was nauseating, and even in his drug-induced daze, the prisoner somehow managed to oppose it.
“Stop…touching…me!” he croaked out.
As if by miracle, the human’s touch disappeared. “Fine. You’ll beg for me to fuck you before the end.”
With that, the white-clad man sat back down on the stool and nodded to someone in the back. Suddenly the machine trapping the warrior started to vibrate. At first, the prisoner didn’t know what was happening, but suddenly an excruciating pain engulfed his back. He felt the machine pulling and pulling at his wings until the pain became too much to bear. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t fight. He could only suffer. As the contraption continued its work, some part of him yielded, and the prisoner felt the break in his body and his heart. He couldn’t help but scream as his black wings were ripped from his body.
* * * *

As X’s eyes flew open, a figure loomed over him. On instinct, he attacked the unidentified figure, obviously another enemy bent on his destruction.
As he kicked and tore into the flesh of his enemy, the other man started to fight back. Between hits, X managed to hear the unknown person shout.
“Hey, stop! X, stop already! It’s me.”
The voice sounded familiar, and X shook the remnants of his dream only to identify the person he was fighting as Min. Min currently boasted several wounds, gained in his struggle with X, and X felt terrible for the attack on his friend. Min had already sustained enough physical damage for him to be the target of his attack.
“I suppose it is too much to ask you what you were dreaming about,” Min said shakily.
X didn’t say anything, just turned his back on Min Yu. “How are the others?”
“They’re fine for now,” Min replied. “They’ve kept the arguments to the minimum.”
X sighed, nodding at the former hunter. It was good news, but that didn’t mean the disease wouldn’t hit again soon.
Seeing that the storm would last a while, they’d decided to rest. One of them, either Min or X, would keep watch, in case anything happened. After his shift, X had finally managed to doze off. However, in the process, he’d ended up in that terrible place. He somehow knew that his dream must be a memory buried deep inside. Now that he had his wits, he could even face what he’d lost, the knowledge that they’d destroyed a very important part of him. His entire being screamed that there were many things he needed to remember, but whenever he tried, he found himself in front of a powerful barrier. For the time being, he had no choice but to abandon the idea of remembering, temporarily, to focus on Pierre. After all, his memories weren’t essential right now, but he did need to take care of the young Sidhe.
He had no idea why Pierre attracted him so much. By rights, they didn’t know each other, but there was a vulnerability and a sorrow inside Pierre that X thought he could understand. He wanted to make things better, to help Pierre heal and the brothers reconcile.
Out of the corner of his eye, X stole a look at the Sidhe. The D’Argent brothers had been attempting to rest at the other side of the cabin, but right now they were very much awake, a fact that was to be expected taking into account the noise he’d made upon waking up. As he looked outside to the snowy mountain, X hoped they wouldn’t have any trouble with the DSS. They had escaped the storm, but it still prevented them for making further progress. They were still too close of the Sidhe facility for comfort.
“I think we should get moving,” Jean Luc said, as if guessing his thoughts. “Michel and the others can’t be far behind.”
Min assented, his exotic features showing his displeasure as he thought about the Imperials. The memory shook X as well as he remembered the first time he’d set eyes on Jean Luc. Had it only been a few days ago? It seemed like forever. The image of Jean Luc being dragged off by the Imperials quickly morphed into Pierre and the way he’d look when X had met him.
X got up and made his way across the small cabin, suddenly feeling the need to ensure Pierre was there, safe, by his side. The memory of his beautiful eyes filled with pain, that desire to die, still plagued X. It would probably continue to plague him his entire life, just like the image of his pure-hearted lover turning into a monster.
X fought the painful images resurrected by that thought. He didn’t want to think about that now, because now, Pierre’s beautiful blue eyes were clear, like a cloudless sky, giving him a look of genuine concern. It was more than obvious that his brother had practically forced him to stay out of the fight between him and Min.
Just when he was walking over to Pierre, X felt something approach. He saw Jean Luc tense at the same moment, and Min immediately took out his weapons.
Pierre paled. “H-How far are they?”
“Not far,” Jean Luc said flatly. “We won’t have time to lose them this time.”
X nodded at the words of the silver-haired Sidhe. The way Jean Luc could analyze things so coldly always startled him, but the older Sidhe would be an asset in the fight to come. The Imperials were a force to be reckoned with. X and his friends were in for a terrible time.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

People watching - or where writing starts

Have you ever seen a dog begging for food? Or maybe a hungry kitten is meowing, rubbing against someone in hope of getting a treat? There are three scenarious that can be expected - being ignored, being fed, or being cast aside.
Sometimes, I think imagination is a lot like that, hungry. And just like the stray kittens and dogs, they beg for food. How do you feed it?
I people watch. I admit it, it's a personal guilty pleasure. When I look out the window, either from the train or from the bus, I love to see the flashing silhouettes of others passing me by. Sometimes, I see a man talking on the phone and I wonder, what is he talking about. Seeing a person move his or her hands in a certain way or watching her fiddle with a ring always draws my attention. I wonder what's on their mind right now. What makes them nervous?
There is just so much in this world that we cannot fathom unless we see it echoed in others. It is said that people always understand themselves less than they do everything else. Maybe that's where it starts.
The newspapers are always filled with the same stupid stuff, 99% of it either rape and murder, or political intrigue. Watching the news is not people watching, but it's illuminating in its own way. Everything is so fake and hypocritical that you can have fun hunting for the cracks in the facades of the politicians. If they are there.
But in the end, I am a romance author, and I want to see honest interaction. So I people watch. Sometimes, even in my own home. Have you ever taken the time to see how your loved ones act when they want to ask you something, but know they shouldn't? Or how they act when they're hiding something? Or am I just weird for doing it?
Today, I caught myself doing it to my mom :). It's always a marvel to observe a person you know so well and realize that you actually know so little.
I like to see love out there, people holding hands, laughing. I like to see honest affection in couples and families. And I watch it, just like I watch the occasional conflict on the street, be it taxi drivers screaming at each other in the busy summer traffic or two kids fighting over a treat.
Sometimes, I ask myself how do they see me. And how do we all look to that higher power, or to any other race that exists other than us? Even cats and dogs, they have their own way of people-watching. So what do they think?
Maybe my writing starts here, in observing people. And it's quite an enjoyable past time :) Try it. You might be surprised at what you'll find.

And with that, I'm going back to my WIP :D. I've procrastinated enough for today.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day! A short for my readers

Happy Valentine's day! To celebrate the occasion, I wrote a short ficlet bringing together characters from my two series, Deadly Mates and Kaldor Saga. They'll never actually meet in the main arc, but I thought it would be fun to imagine it just the same. Enjoy!

Title: Our first Valentine
Pairings: Kaiden/Viktor – Deadly Mates 1: Moon's Sweet Poison
Gabriel/ Lucien – Kaldor Saga 1: Enraptured
Summary: Viktor goes to look for a last minute present for Kai and meets an unusual person.

Viktor scanned through the available products, the overflow of fluffy hearts and stuffed animals making his head swirl. It was Valentine's day, and much to his shame, it had completely slipped his mind. He'd never had to celebrate it before, as he'd been single and alone, but this year, he had a mate, a very beautiful, sexy mate who deserved the most romantic present in existence.
He'd been amazingly busy with reorganizing the pack, but that didn't make for an appropriate excuse for his forgetfulness. Viktor knew Kai had never celebrated Valentine's – snake shifters simply did not do that sort of thing. All the more reason why he'd have liked to find a nice present for his mate.
Unfortunately, the best presents couldn't be bought at the last moment, and Victor desperately tried to find something to at least compensate for the lack and hope Kai would forgive him.
He browsed through the fluffy animals and caught sight of something that looked like a tail. Could it be? No, it wasn't possible. No one in his or her right mind would make a snake plushy.
He made an attempt to reach for it, and his hand hit the one of another person. He looked up only to meet a blue gaze that, strangely, reminded Viktor of his own eyes. A tall blond blinked at him and pulled his arm back. "Apologies," he said.
His voice sounded accented, low and slightly awkward. Viktor didn't know why, but it made him amazingly curious. "Looking for a last minute present?"
The blond nodded. "I just found out about the celebration. My people don't have it."
Viktor suppressed the urge to gape. Where had this guy lived before, another world? But he did look confused, so Viktor just made a sympathetic comment. "I forgot. My mate is going to be so upset."
The word "mate" slipped out so easily, but the man didn't even blink. Viktor judged that the his new acquaintance was some sort of supernatural being. He certainly didn't smell human, although his scent wasn't familiar to Viktor at all. "You're having trouble finding the right gift," the blond said. "Well, what does your loved one like?"
That was easy. Kai liked warmth. But he couldn't exactly buy his mate a blanket. They had tons in the house, and it wasn't a romantic gift. "He likes to be warm."
Viktor very much liked to keep Kai warm, in interesting and sexual ways, but a sexual gift did not suffice in this case. As if guessing Viktor's thoughts, the man grinned at him. "I see. Perhaps a dinner might work. I hear some dishes can have that effect. And in the end, don't people here say it's the thought that counts?"
Viktor considered the other man's words. It made sense. Of course, he'd have liked to make something more elaborate, but Kai did enjoy spicy dishes. Next year, Viktor would have to remember to order something beforehand.
As Viktor contemplated his options, the man picked a pretty plushy with a baby holding a heart. "Congratulations," Viktor said, guessing the man would be a father soon.
The blond's expression turned incredibly tender. "Thank you. Children are a wonder, aren't they?"
Viktor didn't know, since he didn't have children and he probably never would. Nevertheless, he nodded. "That's true. I appreciate the advice. I think I'm going to go find a catering company to arrange it."
The man looked confused, but in the end, he said, "By any chance, would you happen to know if this company sells flowers?"
"Err… No. But there is a florist's on the way, if you'd like to try."
They left the shop after the blond paid for the plushy – far too much, apparently. The cashier's eyes boggled and she stammered as she thanked them.
Viktor's companion didn't pay her any heed. "Where is this shop?" he asked.
Still confused as to the man's behavior, Viktor led his companion. to the florist's store. He waited for a few minutes while his companion selected his new purchase. He'd have liked to hurry to buy his own presents, but he couldn't just leave. Thankfully, the blond didn't take long and chose a beautiful bouquet of white roses. Strangely, he had the florist put the roses in a bag.
"Well, I guess I'll find my mate now," the blond said. "It was nice talking to you. I'm Lucien by the way."
Viktor extended his hand and they shook. "Viktor."
As they exited the florist's, Viktor spotted a small brunet rushing in their direction. The young man reached them and turned blazing black eyes toward Lucien. "Where have you been, Luce? I've been looking all over for you."
Lucien pecked the smaller man on the lips. Under Viktor's very eyes, the purchases vanished into thin air. So this was why Lucien had placed the flowers in a bag. He'd know his mate was in the area and wanted to keep the presents a surprise. "Just looking around, Gabriel. Where are the others?"
The young brunet – Gabriel, apparently – blushed. "I left them in the cafĂ©."
Lucien gave Gabriel a scolding look. "I told you a million times I don't want you to be alone."
"But you were taking so long…" Gabriel answered. "I missed you."
Viktor now felt like the third wheel, and the obvious love between the two made him ache for his own lover. "Well, Lucien, I'll be off."
The blond turned toward him, having obviously forgotten about his presence altogether."Good luck with your mate."
"Likewise," Viktor answered.
The two men walked away, leaving Viktor confused and shocked. But weirder things had happened in his life. Shrugging to himself, he walked away, busy plotting his romantic dinner.
That night, armed with an oriental meal he'd spent an inordinate amount on, Viktor waited for his mate to come home. Thankfully, he'd managed to distract Kai by asking him to visit the home of their pack's Beta, Flame.
He'd just finished arranging the final details when he heard the front door open."I'm back," Kai called out.
"In here," Viktor said.
Kai walked into the dining room and promptly froze in his tracks. "What's all this?" Kai asked. His beautiful lips twisted into a barely perceptible smile and his gold eyes shone in pleasure. Anyone else might have missed it, but Viktor saw the sheer happiness and honest glee.
"A gift," Viktor answered. He walked around the table and to his mate. Wrapping Kai into a tight embrace, he whispered, "For my sweet love."
"Oh, Viktor…" Kai murmured. "Thank you. I… "
Their lips met into a sweet kiss, and Viktor groaned as he felt his mate's chilly skin warm under his touch. They broke apart panting and Kai offered him a small smile. "I did get you a little something," he said in a small voice.
Viktor arched a brow. "Oh?"
Kai retrieved a small package from his jacket and fidgeted uncomfortably. "It was an impulse buy. It's stupid. I'll throw it away."
Viktor snatched the present from Kai's grip before his mate could do such a thing. He opened in, curious to see what his lover had bought. Much to his surprise, he found a small bottle inside. It was a bottle that said, "Anti-fleas." Viktor opened it, sniffed it and grinned. "It would have been such a waste if you'd thrown it away."
A waste, indeed. They both enjoyed warming lubricant a lot, and Viktor planned to enjoy this particular one tonight. "Happy Valentine's Day!" Kai said, the hiss in his speech obvious now.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Kai!" Viktor answered.
Their romantic dinner was left forgotten and cooled off while they put Kai's present to good use.