About Me

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I am first and foremost, a story teller. My passions are M/M fiction and fantasy, and I combine these two things in my work. Among other things, in my books you will find men in love (with each other), vampires, demons, angels and shapeshifters.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hop against Homophobia - A Confession




I have a confession to make. I used to be homophobic. Shocker, isn’t it? Well, it’s true. Kind of.

Due to my upbringing, I never once considered homosexual relationships, not even as a hypothetical fact. In my mind, they didn’t exist. Marriages and love could only happen between a man and a woman.

And then I left my small town and went to university. I met a lot of wonderful people and read some very interesting books. At first, it was all in good fun, but then it got me thinking. Why should love be restricted by gender, or anything else for that matter? It is the most beautiful thing in the world, and shouldn’t be shadowed by prejudice in any shape or form.

Looking back, it’s hard to believe I’m the same person I was during my high school years. But that’s normal, and I feel that I’ve grown a lot since those days. I am proud that I’ve gained new understanding.

And this brings me to my point. What is the root cause of homophobia? Partially, at least, it must be people who do not understand, who do not ask themselves questions, who blind themselves to new experiences. In my country, strong traditions keep many from arguing in favor of modernity, leaving them completely lost in their old ways, in their prejudice. Unfortunately, I have loved ones in this situation, and I cannot say I blame them for it. We have agreed to disagree, because at this point, I know I don’t have a chance in changing their minds.

This is why it is important for the young generation to grow in a different spirit. They should learn, like I did, that, as a good friend of mine says, love is love is love. There are no boundaries, other than the ones you set for yourself. As long as you and your chosen partner (or partners) care for each other and are consenting adults, no one should mind or should throw stones.

On this note, I’m going to share a small story with you. A few years back, while strolling in the city center with my best friend, we noticed two young men walking in front of us. They weren’t holding hands or anything like that, but I saw the closeness, I saw how they were trying to reach for each other without being obvious. Their affection was a beautiful thing, but I want them to be able to truly touch and kiss one day, without fearing public scorn.

I was very happy when I noticed how many authors, publishers, reviewers etc. enlisted in this blog hop. The task we have isn’t easy, and knowing that a lot of people out there are fighting for it encourages me, makes me think that one day, things will be better, for those young men and for all the other gay and lesbian couples out there.

Thank you for reading through my ramble. Comment to this post for the chance to win Deadly Mates 1. Moon’s Sweet Poison and Spirit Wolves 1. A Mate Beyond Their Reach. The blog hop lasts until the 20th, at which point a winner will be randomly drawn out of those who comment. Don't forget to leave your email address so I can contact you.

Also, find more authors, reviewers and publishers participating in this campaign here: http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/

Look around, read through their experiences and don't hesitate to share your own. I'm sure that, like me, all those participants are looking forward to hearing your opinion.


35 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I know a lot of people whose views on this have changed over time. Change is definitely possible.

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  2. It's amazing how we all grow with age and how some don't grow at all. I hope i'm doing my part by teaching my kids that love is love no matter who your with.

    Thanks for doing the hop!!

    bellzette_3@hotmail.com

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  3. Scarlet,
    it's a beautiful thing how we can always grow, isn't it? Thanks for your post. :)

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  4. This blog hop is huge and every post is meaningful so it's taking a lot of time to get through. That's a good thing! I'm really enjoying reading the different stories, experiences and thoughts being posted. Thank you for sharing yours.

    andreagrendahl AT gmail DOT com

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  5. Love should always triumph over hate and I believe it always will.

    kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com

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  6. thanks for sharing your story scarlett. i am glad ya had a change in your POV seeing as you write such WONDERFUL m/m stories.

    for me what made open minded towards the GBLT community was sitting in my confirmation class at church and feeling horrified at how (at the time) my church viewed gays and it's stance that it was wrong and they didn't deserve the same rights as like ME as a het person. that was a life changing moment for me

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  7. Good Morning, I just wanted to say how much I admire you for banding together with so many authors for such a worthy cause. Good luck in your endeavors.

    Missy Martine
    missymartine@comcast.net
    www.missymartine.com

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  8. hey scarlet it's normal for alot of people not to understand what they've never learned about i have best friends who are gay and my little cousin just came out to the family while some of them don't understand or can't accept it she feels loved because me and my parents support her 100% i hope one day we all have the same rights jessica canoto jcanoto@yahoo.com

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  9. I guess most of us straight supporters of the cause were quite oblivious in the beginning. Having always felt "different" brought me closer to any "different" person - which means I don't really discriminate anymore. But maybe I used to. I just don't remember.
    Thanks for the candid confession! :-)
    Barb

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  10. Hopefully there will come a day no one will be afraid to hold the hand of someone they love for fear of being scorn or abuse. Tami (tb-kindle@hotmail.com)

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  11. I absolutely love what you and so many other authors are doing. Thank you for your post. It actually means a lot to me that even though some people are different in the beginning they can change. I hope that someday the world will change their thoughts and beliefs just like you. It makes me sad when I see that two people love eachother so much and yet their not allowed to show it because theyre afraid.Love is love. Hatred should be overcome.

    Nicole
    wolfluvr71@hotmail.com

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  12. I think some of it has to do with how you're raised. I didn't know better either, and didn't think about it until my daughters opened my eyes and I realized it was right and lovely and perfectly natural.

    That's why it's so important to educate our children. Even if sometimes they're the ones who educate us.

    Good post, thanks for being part of the hop.

    Julie

    shelley_runyon@yahoo.com

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  13. I grew up in a small town in a red state. I witnessed every kind of bigotry you can think of. I knew it was wrong and small-minded. I left the state as soon as I graduated from college. I think some states need more time than others. I hope their views evolve soon.

    geishasmom73 AT yahoo DOT com

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  14. I think one of the worst things is that gays aren't allowed to do the simple things in public that heterosexuals take for granted, like hold hands, kiss and hug. I hope I see this changed in my lifetime.

    penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com

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  15. First I want to thank you for sharing your story. Second I wanted to share mine. I have always been a die hard romantic so love has always called to me from a very young age. I was raised around a lot of bigotry and prejudice of one form or another but I guess it never really took root in my heart which really dictates everything for me. ;-) I grew up, met a man who choose to join his life path with mine and we were able to marry. I gave birth to a very unique and wonderful son whom I love above all else. God created him to be another lover of man and I would never change that. I will do whatever I am able to do to help him get all the rights I have so that someday when his man comes along he will be able to love him and marry him should they choose to do so. I love that so many people share the same views I do. Thank you for letting me share and please always give usyour wonderful stories of love. ;-) <3
    71animelove@gmail.com or 71animelover@gmail.com

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  16. I can't imagine not being able to hold the hand of the person that I love while walking down the street. Thanks for participating in the hop. This is a great cause that I pray one day will not be needed.

    forettarose@yahoo.com

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  17. Thank you for being part of this HOP and helping shine a light on this important issue.

    musings-of-a-bookworm@hotmail.co.uk

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  18. Thanks for sharing your story. I can kind of relate. I was raised to hate gay. It never stuck but it didn't stop my family from trying.

    I already have both books! But I just wanted to stop in.

    morris.crissy@gmail.com

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  19. Thanks for the blog....I do not think that your story is uncommon, but we can just hope that everyone opens their eyes to the injustice being taught to today's youth..
    Yvette
    yratpatrol@aol.com

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  20. I was exactly the same way, it was a non-issue to me because I didn't see it and nobody around me talked about it. I didn't even think about it until I was in college and a cousin and a childhood friend both came out. Luckily nobody around me seemed to care when they came out, everyone just kind of shrugged and said "oh ok that's nice, whatever makes you happy."
    Now that I have my own firm set of beliefs on gay rights I'm glad that my family & friends seem to feel the same way.

    ineedtoread76 [at] gmail.com

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  21. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  22. I have so enjoyed reading all the posts available in this hop. Thank you for sharing with us.

    burchills AT gmail DOT com

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  23. Thank you for you honesty and hopefully you will inspire others to change.

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  24. Thanks for sharing and taking part in the hop. I agree that only by teaching youngsters will things ever really improve.

    lmbrownauthor at gmail dot com

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  25. That was very interesting. I agree too that it's education that is the key. Sadly we need to educate adults as well as childen on this. I have hopes things will change but it seems so slow sometimes.

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  26. I wholeheartedly agree. There are a lot of small towns in this country who may be sending young people out into the world who are homophobic just because of lack exposure and understanding and not a true hatred of the gay community. I hope one day that that can change.

    Sheri V
    smurfettev AT gmail DOT com

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  27. Thanks for sharing that, Scarlet :) Didn't sound homophobic, more like just ignorance of youth? But at least you came to your own conclusions, and that's great :)

    Erica
    eripike at gmail dot com

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  28. I don't think that really counts as being homophobic, but I am glad you didn't let anything that you had been taught keep you from accepting others. Acceptance is what it's all really about, after all.

    ashley.vanburen[at]gmail[dot]com

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  29. Interesting post. Thanks for participating in the HOP.

    gisu29(at)gmail(dot)com

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  30. It's great to know people can change, thanks for sharing! Lillywriting at gmail dot com

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  31. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I was raised to believe that marriage was only between a man and a woman, ONE man and ONE woman. Yet as I grew up and experienced the world, I became much more open-minded to things like menages and transgenders. And now I am a firm believer and supporter of gay rights and the right to love who you love. So many people stay stuck in the views they were raised in and never take the time to go out and learn and change their viewpoints. I'm glad that you did and I admire you for doing so. Thanks for sharing and participating!!

    tiger-chick-1(at)hotmail(dot)com

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  32. Thanks for the post. The hop was great.

    peggy1984@live.com

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  33. I am a life long learner! I think education is a way to keep our minds going and a way to learn to be open!

    I had a friend who came out to everyone, his family, his friends and he was blessed to not lose anyone. Actually most everyone already knew he was gay and had excepted him a long time ago. It was actually himself who took so long to accept who he was. All of his family and friends support and love him and this is how it should be!

    This is how it should be coming out, people should love you no matter who you you fall in love with.

    Tabatha Hansen
    mmparanormalromance@gmail.com
    www.mmparanormalromance.wordpress.com

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  34. Hello Scarlet,

    Thank you for feeling you could share something so personal about your Life with Us, that was a Wonderful Post Scaerlet.

    I believe everyone deserves to be Openly Happy in Life, to be with the Person who Loves & Completes Them, without having to be subjected to the ignorance of some close-minded people. True Love does not see Race, Gender, Socio-Economic Status, etc….if people understood that, there would be so much more Happiness in this World….We Could Hope, Right???

    I would very much appreciate the opportunity to be considered in your very generous giveaway. Thank You.

    Thank You for participating in the Hop Against Homophobia.

    Take Care & Wishing You All the Best,
    PaParanormalFan Renee
    paranormalromancefan at yahoo dot com

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  35. Heya guys. Thank you to all for commenting on this post. I was very happy to read all your opinions and comments.
    Since the hop is now officially over, a winner to the giveaway has been chosen and it is LAURIE.
    Please, Laurie, reply to this message with your email address so that I can send you your prize.
    Thank you again to all for all your warmth, kindness and affection. The world needs more people like you.
    Scarlet

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